Tidal Wave of Mystery



Woke up, headache gone, celebrated for a bit. 

Started reading this syntax chapter, headache back, probably gonna go cry somewhere.

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If someone tells you to listen to a song, listen to it.  It may be the worst song you have ever heard but they wanted to share it with you.  That is really special.  If it makes them feel a certain way and they are so adamant about you hearing it, take 5 minutes to hear it.  It shows a lot about someone.  

(via sute-rareta)

If you listen, listen close,
beat by beat,
you can hear when the heart stops.
I saved the pieces when it broke
and ground them all to dust.

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“ Sometimes you’re 23 and standing in the kitchen of your house making breakfast and brewing coffee and listening to music that for some reason is really getting to your heart. You’re just standing there thinking about going to work and picking up your dry cleaning. And also more exciting things like books you’re reading and trips you plan on taking and relationships that are springing into existence. Or fading from your memory, which is far less exciting. And suddenly you just don’t feel at home in your skin or in your house and you just want home but “Mom’s” probably wouldn’t feel like home anymore either. There used to be the comfort of a number in your phone and ears that listened everyday and arms that were never for anyone else, but just to calm you down when you started feeling trapped in a five-minute period where nostalgia is too much and thoughts of this person you are feel foreign. When you realize that you’ll never be this young again but this is the first time you’ve ever been this old. When you can’t remember how you got from sixteen to here and all the same feel like sixteen is just as much of a stranger to you now. The song is over. The coffee’s done. You’re going to breathe in and out. You’re going to be fine in about five minutes. ”

—    The Winter of the Air  (via fuckinq)

Well shit. It’s not just me.

(via booksfor-breakfast)

(Source: kalynroseanne, via lost-touch)

This is now the fourth or fifth day in a row with the same headache and it’s only on one side of my head and it is driving me up a motherfucking wall

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How stressful has grad school been for you? Do you feel in over your head at times? Do you recommend it? What is research like?

Asked by Anonymous

Grad school has been a year of perpetual stress so far. It’s the only clear feeling I have towards it - stress and frustration, with teaching being a light of hope and wonder in the midst of it all. I feel over my head every single day that a semester is in session, except maybe this past summer session which was a lot more relaxed. Even now, one week into a new semester (hell, I felt like this three days in,) I feel overwhelmed and tense about everything. Research in terms of organizing and executing studies and getting participants and analyzing the data and all that has so far been my least favorite part of grad school, and is one of the principle underlying reasons for my hesitancy in pursuing a doctorate (the thought of 4-5 years of research makes me want to vomit until my small intestines come out through my nose)

Now, I need you, dear reader, to take this with a grain of salt. A lot of this frustration and stress comes from department specific issues (e.g. course sequencing problems, not get the foundation in the areas of linguistics that I feel a master’s should be giving me but rather being thrown into advanced courses where I have no base, etc.) that are not applicable to every grad program. You should also keep in mind the context that I came here immediately after undergrad, where most of my fellow grad students took (sometimes long) breaks before coming back. A lot of this stress and anger is because I’ve been burnt out from undergrad the entire time I’ve been here. 

So do I recommend it? I’ll pass along the advice that I received from one of my professors in Geneseo: A master’s is almost always, 99% of the time, worth it, regardless of what you want to do. A master’s will almost always help you in your future jobs. But, her advice continues, do not get a doctorate unless you are 100% committed to it.

All I’ve ever wanted to do is teach. And, with a master’s, I can at the very least adjunct. So I’m looking forward to taking a break after my master’s and getting some teaching experience and maybe, someday down the line, coming back and doing my doctorate when I’m more prepared. 

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